Luna’s 2019 Resolutions

The Resolute Luna
The Resolute Luna

January brings frosty weather and those dreaded New Years resolutions. Google reports that only 9.2 percent of people are successful at sticking to their resolutions; Luna is going to prove that dogs can be 100 percent successful. Here are her resolutions:

1. Chase the wind, not George. When it blows, she goes…outside. Why don’t leaves have squeakers?

2. Barkdust is a perfect place for a poo. Luna is learning that the Pottery Barn rug is not the spot to make a spot, but leaving something in the leaves or an ass in the grass is just fine.

3. Learn to play with CoCo. The fence is still dividing Dog World from Catsville, CoCo goes nose to nose with the pup and lets Luna know she disapproves with an occasional hiss. (CoCo’s resolution: “Scratch the puppy’s eyes out!”)

4. Make friends with the Cockapoo in the fireplace glass. She’s pretty hot! Next year: make friends with the Cockapoo in the oven door.

5. Train dad to throw cheese more accurately. Luna will never get to 30 pounds without more string cheese bites. George: you snooze, you lose.

6. Make mom and dad exercise more: walks and evening ball throws. Wow, mom has big biceps; she should thank Luna for all those ball tosses. Dad could lose a pound or two anyway.

7. Conserve water: use the bowl water to wash the floor. And with all the muddy footprints, do it more! (Is there a way to attach a swiffer head to the bottom of the dish?)

8. Plan a garden: she’s already had lots of practice digging and has grand plans for moving day lilies and roses (she’s already tried.)

9. Eat all her food: every floor hockey kibble puck and bully stick remnant. Eat more cat food too (if CoCo will share.)

10. What do you think Luna’s last resolution should be? Email a suggestion, which I will post as an update.

The Babylonians began the custom of making year-beginning promises 4,000 years ago in order to get on the right side of their gods.

Thanks to Julius Caesar, we have the Julian calendar so we know when the year begins; Caesar declared January 1 the day to honor Janus, the god of new beginnings.

Luna would like to dedicate January second to all puppys’ new beginnings.